Love through the eyes of a loveless realist

Maybe I don't like Valentine's Day because I don't have a valentine.

Maybe it's because I don't understand love.

I don't understand love.

Love is messy

Love is kind

Love is crazy

Love is hard

Love moves like water and floats on the wind

Love is broken

Love is blind

Love is vulnerable

Love is strong

Love is a knot in your stomach keeping you wide awake

Love is like a cool breeze in the middle of July.

A rush of ice cold water trickling down your spine.

A wild horse running free through a field of gold

Love is like a fire that warms you until you are fully devoured

Love can feel like an electric pulse creating a different heart beat one minute

And the next it feels like your stomach is being wrenched into 5 million directions unsure of which way is up

Love is confusing and sure

Love is giving not taking

Maybe that’s it? I never give. Not of my soul. Not of my heart. I have placed my heart in, no not a cage, but a tower. A glass tower, covered in mirrors, but no doors. Allowing my heart to look upon and learn from the many broken hearts I have seen in my lifetime, but not allowing any of the pain and hurt to splash on to mine. No one can see perfectly into my heart because of the glare. But when the time comes my heart will not unlock and let them in, it will crash through those outward mirrors, never to return to its captivity. Because you see it was never mine to have, to keep, to hide. It was his all along. His to hold, to rescue, to protect.

To love and be loved will be an awfully big adventure!!!